I have to leave, Jean. I'm sorry. I wish I could stay but I need to go.
I never did venture outside of the X-Men after my... death. God, it's getting harder to remember what it was like to breathe, to feel a soft gentle touch, and even pain. I miss pain.
Oh well. I'm going out to see if anyone else out there could perceive me. I know the various superheroes out there with abilities beyond those of normal standards.
Still I have to try.
I tried to possess Gambit and he hated it. His shields had increased in his sleep and I couldn't get a good grasp as I used to. I couldnít even indicate that it was me trying to reach out. Maybe if this fails, I will have to possess someone else without such powerful shields.
It will take me time to locate and try it out with the various superheroes. Despite the fact that I could fly as fast as thought now, it will still take time to locate the other superheroes without asking for directions.
I will have to spy on the Avengers and the Fantastic Four since they are the most well-connected superhero teams. After them, I'll locate their allies and some of the... less known superhero teams.
In this state, nothing had been able to perceive me and I will find out things. I might find out about Spiderman's secret identity or how the Avengers work.
I know too much as it is. I know how Apocalypse can work his machines and how Warren and Logan got 'altered'. Watching all of you, day and night, do things that I never even dreamt of. We all have secrets within this house. I just never realize how deep they are.
I can never tell you what is in my mind, Jean. The things I know now and what I will know in the future must forever remain in my mind.
The first place I will go was the Avengers. I will hang out there, especially around Wanda and Simon. Wanda had a strange mystical power that no one could fully understand. Simon was resurrected after a long time thanks to her. They might be able to help.
After that, I'll go to Laveteria. I heard that the Fantastic Four are living there now. Dr. Doom is the new leader. I still have a hard time believing that. Of course, I've had experience in impossible to believe situations.
I'll miss you. Correction, I do miss you. I miss your touch. I miss the way you speak in my head sometimes in a playful way. I hate seeing you mourn for me. I try so hard to be there for everyone in spirit if not in body.
I promise you the first person who can perceive me in any way will tell you that I was here.
Just be strong for me. You were the strong one of us.
First, I have to take one last look. Itís so beautiful up here. I love flying, itís the only thing I can do that I couldnít do back when I was alive. I can see the woods, the vast gardens, our old boat house, and the mansion itself. So much happened here. I met Jean in the study. My son was born here. I was married here.
This isn't goodbye. I will be back. I'll be back in either spirit or in flesh.
I love you.
As Nathan would say, G'journey.
Other Stories By Maria Cline