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Nadja Lee

How To Say "I Love You"

Published: 20/11/00
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel , 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, 
this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story 
to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set in our  time.
Universe: Set in a alternative universe ( that would be our universe!).
Pairing: Scott/Rogue
Summary: Scott and Marie meet but how to say "I love you" ?
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. (Use Feedback Button).
Rating: PG-13
Dedicated to: Carol who came up with the idea for this story. She owns the idea, I the story. 
Carol, I hope you enjoy this small tribute wherever you are.
Author's note: Set in a alternative world! Ours!
Warning: Character Death!
Thanks to Christina for the Beta.
*mmmm * is telepathically thoughts spoken in the mind. " mmmmm "  is spoken out loud.

Part 1:
Present day, New York:

Scott Summers was walking down the busy street on Manhattan. Six Avenue was an expensive street and all the beautiful, rich women shopping there bore evidence to the fact as did all the fine cars on the street. It was spring and the flowers had just began to bloom. Scott couldn't see the flowers but he could smell them. He was born with extremely delicate and weak eyes. He wasn't blind yet he wasn't sighted either. Direct sunlight hurt his eyes so he always wore shades as he did this day as well. He saw as well as anybody else he just needed the shades to protect his eyes against the sun which resulted in him never having seen the real colours of anything not inside a house as if he removed his glasses for just a moment he got great pain in his mind from the sun. He came to a music store and went in. He loved most kind of music, the newest noise they called music an exaction. Music could make him forget the world for a while and it opened up a world of pictures in his mind. Just listening to a love song could make him see hundreds of pictures in his mind's eye. Slowly he browsed the store, taking a lot of time to read the names on the CDs and looking for just the right one. After a while he had found a classic CD he wanted and went to the counter with it. A young woman of about 17 years stood by the counter.
" Yes?" She smiled pleasantly at him but he noticed more her soft, kind faintly southern accented voice. It was a nice voice. He liked it. She was delicately built and had a white streak in her brown hair in front. She was stunning.
" This one," Scott said and put his CD down on the counter. As she reached to take the CD their hands touched and Scott felt like an electric shock had gone through him from her touch. They both looked up until she shyly broke the stare and saw how much the CD was.
" $14,95," she said, her voice kind. " You want me to wrap it?" Scott was so enchanted by her beauty that it took him some time to realise she had spoken to him.
" Hum? Yeah, please do."
It really wasn't a present but if it meant he could see and listen to her some more, he wanted her to because it made him happy just to be near her. She went to another table and wrapped his CD before coming back and smilingly handing it to him.
" Here you are. Enjoy."
Scott smiled softly at her.
" I will," he said lowly. Something in his voice made her blush. He reluctantly went to the door and as he turned back, Marie, as he had read on her name tag her name was, waved at him. He smiled and waved back.

Part 2:

Scott went down the street and as he passed a homeless begging for money he let some coins drop into the man's hat.
" Thank you, kind Sir," the man said and Scott smiled at him, a little ashamed that he couldn't do more. As he went back to his office, Marie still hunted his thoughts.
" Scott! Where have you been? I was getting worried," Alex Summers, Scott's kid brother, said as Scott returned to his office next to Alex's. Scott and Alex had been orphaned as children but both had worked hard for what they wanted which had been very different things. Alex wanted power and respect which had lead him to conquer the stock market and become a very wealthy man. Scott had wanted to make the world a better place and had studied Medicine and often travelled to the Third World to help where he could. He often sat with Alex in his meetings but it was more because Alex found him good publicity and then because he did own 49% of Summers Enterprises, but there were no mistaking that it was Alex's firm and his dream.
" I just went for a walk."
Alex looked worried at him.
" You ok?" He asked softly, real concern in his voice.
" Yeah, I'm ok," Scott said, and found he actually meant it. Since he had seen the vision of beauty and innocence called Marie down at the store all his problems seemed far away.
" Good. You feel up to anticipating in a meeting? You recall that Warren Worthington the third, the rich businessman from L.A., is visiting us today about a contract. Also he is to visit Lorna and me in our home tonight with his wife, Betsy. I would like you to be there," Alex kindly reminded him. Lorna was Alex's wife and a well known designer. They had a house just outside Manhattan and a apartment in Manhattan that they rarely used.
" Sure, IŽll come. " Alex squeezed his shoulder gently.
" Come on," Alex said and lead him into the office and Scott knew it would be a long day.

Part 3:
Summer had come to New York and Scott enjoyed a trip down the street. He had visited Tanzania again and had worked with AIDS sick children. He had taken part in the treatment, caring and prevention. He remembered how shocked he had been over the conditions the sick lived under down there and how afraid he had been to get sick when he had been there the first time. But he had worked anyway. Not out of duty but because he sincerely wanted to help. The worst part had been to say goodbye to so many patients so many times. They were often alone in death and only got a small wooden cross which would be gone a year later. They had been forgotten as if they had never existed. That had hurt Scott the most, more than when he lost patients with crying relatives all around them. Humans are gregarious animals and man's greatest fear is often loneliness. Most of all in death. When death came to him he had hoped he hadn't had to be alone. Now, he had no other choice.
He drew to a stop next to the music store. He hadn't forgotten Marie and had thought of her while in Tanzania. Now, all he had was time since he couldn't work anymore. He missed working a lot. He had known that it would come to this, being a doctor more than others but still.he had hoped for more time. He remembered the CD he had brought here last. When he had reached his apartment he had thought the package too pretty to open had had put it in a closet. Seeing Marie by the counter his heart made a jump in his chest. She still looked like he had pictured her in his mind; an Angel of light and innocence. He grabbed a random CD and went to her.
" Hey again," she said as she saw him and smiled that wonderful smile at him and he had to smile back at her.
" You can remember me?!"
" Yes. You, I can't forget," she said softly. Not even if I wanted to, she thought. He lay the CD on the counter.
" You want me to wrap it?" You look so sad. If only I could help you, Marie thought sadly.
" Please do."  You are so beautiful. If I was a poet I would compose a poem to you but I'm not so the words I don't speak will have to do, Scott thought gently.  Marie went to the other table and wrapped it. She handed it back to him.
" Did you like the other CD or was it a gift?"
" I liked it," Scott lied. He had never heard it, just looked at the pretty paper and seen how much work she had put into making his CD look nice.
" Good." She smiled shyly at him. " I hope you like this one too."
" I'm sure I will."
Then before he wanted to, he was forced to leave and the spell was broken. Out on the street he looked at the CD and it looked even prettier than the last one. Again he couldn't bring himself to opened it and when he came home, he put it in the closet to the other one, both shinning in the light.


Part 4:
Autumn had come and with it rain and coldness. Scott felt neither when he visited Marie in the store which he often did. Once a week he would gone to the store and buy a random CD. She would wrap it and when he came home he put it up with all the other prettily wrapped CDs in his closet. He looked forth to going to the store every week. Just seeing Marie, hearing her voice, seeing her smile, made him the happiest man in the world. She was something special and he loved her in his own silent way. Every time he brought a CD he thought to her "I love you" with all his heart and soul.
His body was weakening. He felt it every day. Soon he wouldn't be able to go out anymore and it pained him beyond words never to see Marie again.
Ring! Ring! The doorbell ran and Scott slowly got up from the chair in his apartment overlooking Manhattan. When he opened Lorna stood outside.
" Scott! Can I come in?" She tried to hide her worry for him in her happiness over seeing him again but he knew better.
" Yes, sure. Come in."
They went to the livingroom and sat down.
" Has Alex sent you?"
" No!" Lorna denied but Scott gave her THAT look.
" Ok, he did," she admitted. " But he's just worried for you. We all are."
" And who are "we"? Alex and his firm?" Scott asked harshly. Lorna looked wounded at him.
" That wasn't fair. You know he loves you."
" Yes, I do. I'm sorry, Lorna. It just..It has been a hard year," Scott smiled apologetic at her. She smiled back and took his hand in hers.
" Is ok. I understand." They sat in silence for a while.
" When I..When I have to stay at the hospital all the time in a few weeks will you.will you do something for me?" Scott raised his eyes and looked directly at her.
" Of cause. Anything," Lorna said immediately. Scott smiled lovenly at her. She really was a wonderful woman.
" Alex is a lucky man to have found you," he whispered.
" I know," Lorna answered with a smile and to her joy drew an amused laughter from Scott. " What do you want me to do?" She asked as they got serious again.
" There is a CD store close by.the M&M store. Will you.will you buy me a CD every week and get Marie, the young woman at the counter, to wrap it for me?" He could see she found it a strange request but nodded.
" Sure, I will."

Part 5:
Strange, he hasn't been here at all this week, Marie thought worried. The man with shades always visited her store once a week but she hadn't seen him at all and she had worked extra hours since he didn't come Monday at 15 as he used to, in hopes of seeing him. There was something about him.an air of pain.a sadness she wanted to cure. Something in him spoke to her. Before she had time to think more about it a beautiful young woman entered the store. She went to the counter.
" Hey. My friend says he shops here every Monday and I'm here to buy a CD for him but I don't know what he'll like." Marie's eyes filled with joy. He was ok, then.
" The man with the shades, right?" The woman looked surprised at her.
" Yes."
" He buys all kind of things but I think he likes classic or soft rock the most," Marie answered. She didn't know the man yet still she felt like she had known him her entire life. Somehow she was sure he would like music like that. She remembered that he had brought a classic CD when they had first met.
" Thank you," the woman said and came back a little later with a CD.
" Shall I wrap it?" She asked with a smile. How often had she not said that sentence to the shaded man?
" Yes, please."
Marie went to the other table and wrapped it as beautifully as she could and handed it back to the woman. Soon after she was gone with the small package. Strange that from a distance, the sun glimmering in it, Marie thought the package looked like a heart.

Part 6:
Why didn't he come? She was so worried. The shaded man hadn't been to her store for over a month but the woman had come once a week to buy a CD for him. Until last week. She hadn't come last week at all. This week was the week between Christmas and New Year and a very busy week. She didn't understand why he or the woman hadn't come the week before Christmas. She had worked the entire week waiting to see one of them so she could wrap his CD but none had showed. Now it was Friday and none had showed this week either. Her mind made up the most terrible things which could have happened to him and she prayed for his safety every night. She felt like she was loosing a part of her soul and heart without any contact to him. She had looked forward to his visit every week, to see him smile, a small smile just for her. Even when the woman had come in his place she had looked forward to it because as long as she had any contact with him she knew he was ok. She was going out of her mind from worry.
" We're closing. You can go now, Marie," the manager of the store said. Marie nodded shortly, looking intensely at the door, hoping to see him walk through it and thinking so hard about it that she was sure he would show up just by the power of her will. When he didn't come she sadly packed her things together and left.

Part 7:
Marie reached her small apartment and was in a very sad mood. She lived alone with no real friends. The shaded man had been the highlight of her day, the light in her dark world. She looked disinterested at the newspaper on her doorstep as she picked it up. Since neither he nor the woman had returned she had lost interest in everything so she just briefly ran the news over until a picture on the front of the local paper caught her eye. It was a picture of the shaded man! Dropping her bag next to the front door, she started reading the article standing outside in the hallway where the paper had laid, not caring what she looked like. Under the picture of the shaded man she read:
" Scott Summers Med., Ph.D." Scott, that was his name. She tasted it on her tongue. Scott Summers. She liked it. She started reading the article:
" Scott Summers, brother to Alex Summers, was well known for his work in the third world and research on AIDS. It was during one of his many humanity works, this one in Tanzania two years ago, where he worked with AIDS victims that he himself became infected. Dr. Summers had received an emergency call from the locals about a young boy who had stepped on a mine. Dr. Summers had rushed to his aid, but due to bad equipment he was infected as the boy himself had been a victim of the dreaded disease. Even with this knowledge Dr. Summers worked indefatigable to find a cure and worked with infected AIDS patients and he even returned to Tanzania last summer to continue his work with AIDS patients. Even though he made many progresses he never did find a cure. Dr. Summers passed away last Thursday, 16.30, the disease having weakened his body so that he died from the flue."
Marie gasped in shock and tears ran down her cheeks. He was dead. How could that be? He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't. She saw there were more and read on with tears in her eyes:
" After his death, Alex Summers found a closet full with beautiful wrapped CDs. His brother had found them too precious and beautiful to unwrap. As he opened the last one his brother had received he read a note inside saying:

" You visit me every week.
   Talk to me.
    I love you, can't you see that?

When Mr. Summers opened the rest of the CDs he found notes in them all. In the last one his brother had brought himself, the woman had written:

" You look so sad.
   Talk to me.
   I`ll try and smooth your pain.

In the very first one she had written:

Shaded man,
You speak to my soul
With your eyes I can't see
And with the sadness of your smile
Do I speak to you
The same way?

Apparently his brother had visited the same music store just to see the woman by the counter, named Marie. He had loved the woman so much but only told her through his unspoken thoughts. She had loved him back but only told him through her letters he had never read because he had loved her so much he had wanted to admire her beauty and gentleness that he found reflected in the beautiful warped packages. A love so strong yet it never existed. A love so powerful it could move mountains yet it never moved to the spoken word. A perfect love; found and lost. Now it all seems so sad."
Through the hallway a woman's cries were heard all through the night until daylight came and the cries suddenly stopped. An unnatural stillness settled over the building. As morning came and the sun shinned over the new fallen show on this New Year's Eve, an ambulance drove to the building and drove away a little later. The stars disappeared as the sun grew in power and people started to awake. Soon the streets were filled with laughter and preparations for the night's party. In the ambulance a young woman lay still, dried tears on her cheeks and yesterday's newspaper crumbled up in her hand.
" It's all over," the paramedic said. And that it was. That it was.

The End


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