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"Logan what are you doing up here?" Jean Gray Summers asked from where she was ducking a low lying tree branch heading for where her friend was sitting in the middle of the clearing. "Waiting for the sky to clear." Was all Logan responded from where he was sitting next to a bonfire he had made. "Are you sure it is going too? The weather has been gloomy and overcast for days now. No break in the clouds." "Yup, Ro, is going to make sure at least the morning will be bright and sunny. Be raining bucket tomorrow night though. What can I do for you Jeannie?" Jean just sighed. "You know that Bobby is leaving? No one can talk him out of it." "Not surprised. Scottie was Bobby's older brother in everything but name. Bobby's pretty pissed at Chuck for how things turned out with old 'Lips'. I figured he would take off for a while, he'll be back though. We always come back. I proved that lots of times. Now what can I do for you?" "I didn't want to be in the house alone tonight. So I thought I go track you down and see what you have been up to. You have been out here the last three nights." "I told ya, I am waiting for the sky to clear so I can find something." Jean just scowled down at him as she sat down on a fallen log across from her friend.
"That's not really helpful you know. You have been awful quite since we found that trunk. If I wanted grunts and one-word answers I would go try to talk to Nate. I don't even know where he is." Logan just chuckled at her, "Blocking you? I thought no one could do that. He's down by the lake, just looking out at it. Just like his old man that way, both of them head for water when they have something on their minds. I think he's even in Scottie's favorite spot to brood. That one is going to have a rough row to hoe in the next couple of months. Like you he's letting 'the what ifs' drive him crazy." Jean just looked at her friend thoughtfully, "We were planning on leaving the X-men to start a family you know? Scott had finally agreed to give it try." "Never would have lasted, Jeannie. Scott would have been chewing his leg off to get away soon enough. Maddie made that same mistake. Scott Summers thrived on a lot of things, domestic bliss was not one of them. It would have killed you to watch him die inch by inch, year by year. Scott needed a fight. You knew that when you married him. Don't let those 'what ifs' drive you crazy." Jean just scowled at him and then sighed, "Maybe you right." "You know I'm right. Scott was a lot like Mariko that way. They both needed a fight. His it was the X-men and hers it was trying to break her clan's ties to the underworld. If you loved them you just had to give them enough leash to do what they had to do. If you didn't, you either lost them, or you killed them slowly. I've been where you are Jeannie. I've been there with 'Why would they do this? Wasn't I enough?" "I wasn't enough to stop Scott from even thinking twice from throwing himself into that beam was I?" It came out a little more bitter that Jean had meant it to, "Our whole lives in front of us and he didn't even think twice." "Nope. I didn't stop Mariko either. You and I spend some much of our time just trying to block the world out. You with your telepathy and me with my extra sharp senses, we gotta keep the walls up or we'll go crazy. Sorta sticks us in the here and now. You and I see the world how it really is. We both have no illusions about that. Scott and Mariko spent their lives trying to let the world in. Their fight was trying to rip the walls down. That let them see the world the way they thought it SHOULD be, and that was what kept them going. Maybe that's why we tried to hold on to them so tight. Our hardest fight was realizing you can't hold on to them too tight or they slip right through your hands."
Jean wouldn't meet his eyes, "Does it get any easier?"
Logan gave her a thoughtful look for a moment and was silent for a long
time. "I would love to tell ya, yes it does it easier but it really
doesn't. I still miss her. I feel like I'm still
missing a part of my heart. I can tell you this, the bleeding
stops, it leaves a hell of a ugly scare but the bleeding stops
eventually. Just remember that." "I'm gonna be
bleeding for a long time Logan." Logan just chuckled at her.
"I never said you wouldn't darlin. If it makes you feel
better there are quite a few that are bleeding with ya. All you
gotta do is look at the weather the last couple of days to know how Ro,
is taking it. She lost her brother or as close to one she ever
had. Scottie told me something after I lost Mariko and it made me
feel better. I pass it on to you now. I think it went
something like this...
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