“Scott Summers give me that damned book!” Jean Grey Summers shouted to her husband.
“To think I thought Bobby and Alex didn’t even like each other.” Scott replied as he put the couch between him and his very annoyed wife.
“It’s books like that, and Jerry Springer that’s wrong with our society today. Give me the book.” Jean announced as she lunged for the book titled ‘The X-men and their secret lives’.
“Your just jealous. If you want to read it that badly, you’re just going to have to spend the twenty-three ninety-five and get your own.” Scott replied as he dodged Jean and put the kitchen table between them.
“You know this sick obsession with this book ranks right up there with your sick obsession with talk TV.” Jean growled. “Now give me the damned book.”
Scott just scooted to the other side of the table. “Hey, I watch Jerry when I want to feel normal and fool myself in to thinking I’ve lived a normal life.” Scott gave Jean a considering look, “You know, my parents got sucked up by a flying saucer. My stepmother is an alien. I married a clone.” Scott’s face lit up in one of his very rare impish smiles. “All I need to do is get the family together on Jerry. I can go on the show drunk, wearing a ‘wife beater’ tee shirt. You need to show up wearing a moo-moo and those ugly foam rollers. Then Nate, my Dad, and me throw a couple of chairs at each other, all the while calling each other really nasty names and my life would be complete. What do you think? Would Nate be up for it?”
Jean lunged for where he was standing “Give me that damned book!” Scott slide under the table. Jean growled under it. “I could just yank that damned book telekinetically out from your hands if you keep this up.”
“Nope.” Scott’s cheerful voice rang out from under the kitchen table “I borrowed one of Hanks little gadgets. If you want my book your going have to get it the hard way. Did you know Besty and I had an affair going for over a year. Who would have thought that Cyclops would get lucky? He has all the personality of a cardboard cut out sometimes. I didn’t even know that a telepath could do something like that and I’ve lived among them most of my life.”
Jean took a deep breath. At least this book didn’t know their real names. Jean started crawling under the kitchen table after him. “Remind me to thank Hank next time I see him for loaning you his little gadget. Now give me that damned book.” Scott shot out from underneath the table and headed back to the living room. “Keep this up Mr. Summers and you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”
Scott was standing in the middle of the living room and just shrugged impishly. “I could use the sleep. If you want to punish yourself like that go ahead. You’re the one that told me when we got married. ‘That if I wanted to sleep try the couch. Because there wouldn’t be too much sleeping going on in your bed.”
Jean counted to ten. “Just give me the damned book.”
Scott shook his head smirking. “I haven’t EVEN gotten to your or Logan’s chapters yet. Just by what I skimmed, God gosh Jean, you had me blushing. You never pulled the chains and whips out with me.”
Jean shook her head and prayed for patience. “That’s because Logan has a healing factor and can take the damage.” She sneered, “Now give me that damned book, or I will be forced to hurt you.”
Scott smirked at Jean and asked, “Will you pull out the handcuffs and whips to do it Mistress Summers?”
Jean lunged for him again. “Give me that damned book!” Scott bolted up the stairs. “You know people have filed for divorce for less than this, Scott.” Jean shouted up the stairs after him.
Scott gleeful voice rang down from the top of the stairs. “You and Maddie had something going on behind my back?” Scott said that in a tone of mock horror. “As disturbing of a thought as that is, it does give a whole new twist on a very old saying.”
“You know Scott?” Jean shouted up the stairs. “When I said that you should let your playful side show more often, I lied.”
“Oh my gosh.” Scott’s cheerful voice once again called from up stairs. “I will never think of your and Warren’s free fall game in the same way again. Maddie was right. All the male X-men are just your toys. It’s a good thing I’m not a jealous man Mrs. Summers. I haven’t even got to the part on what Hank and you do down in his lab.”
“That does it! Your are going to get hurt now Mr. Summers!” Jean shouted up the stairs.
“Geez, Jean, you Bobby, Gambit, and Logan together at once? If you showed me that type of appetite, Jean, I’d be dead by now. Just promise me that if you do kill me like that. You won’t let them wipe the smirk off my face.”
Jean took a deep breath and shouted up the stairs. “You’re going to be dead alright. I am going to kill you just not the way that you’re thinking, you pervert. Now give me that damned book.”
“Temper, temper.” Scott’s voice cheerfully called from the top of the stairs. “I’m not the one they wrote… can a telekinetic do that?”
“Okay that does it!” Jean shouted as she bolted up the stairs. “I am going to hurt you now!” Jean heard Scott run in the direction of their bedroom. “You know Scott, when someone first gets to know you. You seem so normal.” Jean grumbled.
She heard Scott’s cheerful voice ring out from their bedroom “All I can say is if you had made our study groups that interesting growing up. I would have flunked out and loved every minute of it.”
“You know Scott you’re a little old for this sick game of keep away.” Jean announced as she marched towards their bedroom. “Now give me that damned book.”
Scott voice called out with his reply “You’re never too old to rediscover the lost joys of your childhood.”
“Did I mention?” Jean growled as she continued to head for the bedroom, “I beat up the playground bullies.”
“So you liked to be in control and inflict pain from the very beginning Mistress Grey?” Scott voice gleefully rang out from the bedroom.
“Now I am going to hurt you.” Jean announced as she threw open their bedroom door. Scott was standing on the other side of the bed. So the bed was between Jean and him. Jean studied him for a moment. “Where’s the damned book?”
Scott smirked at her; shrugged and said, “Don’t know. I must have dropped it somewhere.”
Jean narrowed her eyes at Scott. “I do have ways of making you talk.”
Scott smirked at her “Promise?” Jean threw him on their bed telekinetically. “They are going to have to wipe that smirk off my face.” Scott announced gleefully from the bed.
Jean jumped on top of him and pinned him. “Now’s where is that book?”
“Book?” Scott asked innocently. Jean smacked him in the arm. “Okay, okay.” Scott announced in mock surrender “I’ll let you wear the ‘wife beater’ T-shirt and I’ll wear the ugly moo-moo with the foam rollers.”
Jean shook her head at him. “You know we could redirect that social deviant side of you to more constructive uses?”
Scott just raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “Like how?” Jean whispered something in his ear. Scott gave her a shocked look for a moment and replied, “And you say that you have no interest in appearing on Jerry Springer.”
“Now where’s the book?” Jean asked again. “Don’t make me tickle torture you.”
Scott gave her a faked thoughtful look. “I still can’t remember quite where I might have dropped it.” Jean started tickling him and Scott smirked at her. “Not working Mrs. Summers. I’m not ticklish.”
“You know it won’t be very good for moral around here, if you have explain that all the bruises your going to be sporting came from your wife beating the crap out of you. Now where did you put the book?”
“Depends on how kinky I make the story.” Scott replied gleefully.
Before Jean could respond to that remark Scott’s communicator started buzzing. “Damn.” Scott grumbled. Jean quickly got off of him. She could almost watch the mask of command come on. “Cyclops here.”
It was Logan on the other end. “Hate to bother you Cyke. It appears that old Mags is at it again. We have a report of Acolyte activity.”
“Alright I’ll be right there. Logan have a map of the area waiting for me. I want to know what we might be walking in too. Have Hank get the blackbird warmed up and ready to fly.”
“Understood. Logan out.”
Scott sighed at Jean “It appears my scheduled beating is going to have to wait until I get back.”
“You could save yourself the beating and tell me where the book is.” Jean announced tapping her foot impatiently. Jean suddenly got a very serious look on her face “Be careful. If anyone is going to damage you it’s going to be me.”
Scott shrugged at her “I always am.” He suddenly walked over to the laundry hamper and pulled something out. “As for the book.” Scott held it up, waved it at her and smirked. “I’ll read it on the plane on my way there.” With that he bolted out of the bedroom at a full run.
“Scott! You are never going to make it to that plane!” Jean shouted as she bolted after him.